Seeing

I wasn't sure what to expect when I walked into the room where my Uncle Harry was lying in bed. I had no idea how I would react, and even less idea what effect it would have on me afterwards. I was shocked by how thin he is, he doesn't eat anymore and thus is slowly wasting away. At first I was a little apprehensive, I mean, this is my Uncle lying there. 

Something my Aunt said is an idea I've heard before (that while she might have preferred that they both get taken in some kind of car accident, but that it's in the no knowing that makes life valuable. Something like that anyways.) but I've never really been able to really understand. Without death, life (as we know it) would be nothing. And that in our deaths (and new lives) that our life here on earth gains meaning. 

The atmosphere here is different than I might have expected. Most everyone is laughing and talking and eating. Periodically my aunt gets a little teared up, but mostly people are in good spirits. I imagine that in large part it is because my uncle has lived such a full and good life? Maybe this is the way everyone behaves at this sort of gathering? 

There's a baby monitor sitting on the countertop listening in to my uncle's breathing. It makes sense I suppose, though it seems weird. I don't know, this whole experience is kind of out there.