Ramblings...

I almost didn't blog tonight, but every time I went away from the page I felt drawn back to it.

I've been thinking a fair bit about seminary, and right now I'm a little terrified. Partly because I only in the past few days completed my application process (thanks in part to a rather slow professor) but also because I've managed to procrastinate my way into having all my eggs in one basket. Strictly speaking it's not too late to apply to schools, so I have options, but as of right now my only truly completed application is to PSR.

Also, my friends here are incredible. And going to a new place means new friends, which means meeting and getting to know new people. While on the one hand that might not seem so scary, on the other hand I am actually a bit shy around people I don't know. (At least I used to be, it's been a while since I've been in a situation like that.) It means letting go of everything that has made me comfortable and setting forth into a new chapter (to quote a good friend of mine) of my life. 

Also this talk of agape has gotten me thinking. We talked about it in small group, then a couple friends recommended that I read The Shack. An incredibly powerful, amazing book that in many ways epitomizes our conversation of unconditional universal love. As I read it, memories of the man who tried to hit on and pick up my then 10 year old sister rose in my mind. The blind fury I felt when he (the 50 year old man) began blatantly flirting with my sister and her friend. In the end nothing came of it, I went to the intercom with the driver of the train and had him announce that it wasn't okay to pester other passengers, particularly young women. 

I was prepared to act if even began to reach toward my sister, I pictured myself smacking him in the head with my umbrella actually.

All of this is to say that I am called to love that man, who makes me sick to my stomach. In fact, we are all called to love even the people responsible for genocide. We are called to love even our federal administration. (Whom I generally despise) We are called to love the men who exploit and sexually abuse children in Cambodia and around the world. As I was reading The Shack it seemed to all make sense, and yet now I find myself wondering how it will ever work out that I can even begin to love unconditionally even the people who I find it easy to love. 

Something that I don't have a particularly hard time swallowing though, is that God (or Papa) especially loves each of us. Which He does. Or She. Or Whatever. 

My word for today is Love.