Whoa

So, being back from Cambodia isn't exactly what I thought it would be. 

It's nice to be able to lay in bed and surf the internet, much like I'm doing now. It's incredible to have a bed that is comfortable and a cell phone that does more than sit in a pocket of my luggage, but it's still not what I imagined. Somehow I thought it would be more exciting to be back, but so far it's been er, not. 

Every time I eat the food explodes out of me. I can't get decent sleep for anything. I'd pictured myself spending tons of time with friends, but that hasn't really happened. I keep noticing little things about the way of life here that catch me off guard. 

I think part of me is still emotionally drained from the trip, which would account for some of the blah feeling, but even so it isn't fun. I thought that having an apartment all to myself would be the best thing in the world, but I got back to find out that my rent will be going up $50 next month and that being all alone in your home actually kind of sucks. 

The job that I was expecting to start on Monday isn't going to start until the following Monday, giving me a week of nothing to do while everyone is working. I still can't get into my NCC e-mail so I really have no idea what is going on with my seminary attending process. I find myself easily irritated and irrationally frustrated with small things that I really shouldn't give a second thought to. I keep getting hit with bouts of loneliness that I'm not expecting.

And yet despite all this not everything is bad. I have designs to hang out with people. I got a different car to replace the one that has been broken for a couple months. My electric bill was the lowest it has ever been. I think that I'm making positive progress with processing Cambodia. I was able to get my living room cleaned and and it is now livable. 

I don't know what to do, I suppose the only option is to give everything time to work out. Doesn't make it any easier knowing that though.